ADHD: More Than a Discipline Issue

Last week, I saw a post making its way around social media that proclaimed that seeking a diagnosis for children was the new alternative to discipline. The commentary that followed provided a mix of opinions, perspectives, and assumptions. There was a universal theme that the "discipline" that most people felt was missing was whippings/spankings/whoopings/a** beatings. The original poster did not reference a particular diagnosis, but commentators seemed to focus their attentions on ADHD. With this being ADHD Awareness Month, I felt it fitting to write a blog to speak from an awareness perspective on this hot topic!

So to paraphrase the sentiments of many individuals who chimed in on the post, "there would not be a need for an ADHD diagnosis if more children received corporal punishment from their parents."

There is this myth that ADHD isn't real, and kids just need more discipline. The fact, however, is that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how the brain functions. The issue may not actually be that there is a lack of discipline. It could be that the type of discipline is ineffective due to a very real diagnosis.

Many people fail to recognize the complex nature of ADHD and the reality that many parents have tried traditional discipline methods with little success. ADHD isn’t a behavioral issue caused by a lack of discipline; it’s a neurodevelopmental disorder. Children with ADHD experience challenges in focusing, controlling impulses, and regulating emotions because their brains function differently, not because they haven’t been disciplined enough.

While discipline is essential in parenting, ADHD is not something that can be “spanked away.” Children with ADHD require specific interventions that address their neurological needs, not punitive measures aimed at behaviors they have difficulty controlling.

I have received many messages from parents who have already tried everything social media has deemed as “appropriate discipline.” They’ve spanked, scolded, and taken away privileges. And still, they find their children struggling at home and in school, disrupting classrooms, and being misunderstood by teachers and peers. These parents are not lacking in their parenting; they are desperate for real solutions.

For parents who have reached this point, it can feel isolating and disheartening to hear comments suggesting that their child’s behavior is due to a lack of discipline. The truth is, many of these parents are already doing everything they can, but they need additional tools, resources, and support to help their child manage ADHD.

ADHD is a medical condition that affects the brain’s ability to regulate attention, behavior, and impulses. Children with ADHD often know what is expected of them but struggle to carry out those expectations because their brains process information differently. Simply put, ADHD behaviors are not willful acts of disobedience; they are symptoms of a brain that struggles to regulate itself.

Discipline does have a role in managing ADHD, but it must be approached differently. Positive discipline—focused on structure, consistency, and clear communication—can be more effective for children with ADHD than punishment-based approaches. The original poster of the hot topic also posted (a few days after the viral post) her definition of discipline, characterized as "training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character." For children with ADHD, the discipline should be designed to train children to exhibit desired behaviors. For the naysayers, what exactly are we teaching children with corporal punishment?

Seeking a professional evaluation for ADHD is not a sign of failure; it’s a proactive step toward finding the support your child needs. ADHD is not a label that will define your child negatively—it’s an opportunity to understand them better and equip them with the tools to succeed.

As we move toward better understanding of ADHD, it’s essential to shift the narrative in our communities. Instead of perpetuating the idea that ADHD is a discipline problem, let’s support parents who are doing their best to find solutions for their children. It’s time for us to have open conversations about how we can uplift our children with the right tools and strategies.

Let’s move away from judgment and work together to create environments where all children have the support they need to thrive. Afterall, Awareness Is Key!

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